9 – Here’s To 25

2/8/21

Shameless plug – today is my birthday. Am I telling you this with the hopes that you’ll shower me in kind words and cookies? Of course. Point me towards the person who doesn’t want those things on their birthday, and I might call them a liar (nicely though because they’re obviously in denial).

Really though, birthdays as an adult are strange because the world doesn’t stop for you the way it seems to as a kid. You work and rude people get mad at you for asking them to wear a mask and the cars in front of you on the highway still go much too slow, and I would like to ask them the important question, “Don’t you know this day is for me?”

To continue my nostalgic heartbeat from last week, I’ve got to own that I’m really looking forward to 25. I have been for years now, as strange as that sounds. There’s this voice in my heart that has been whispering to me that it’s going to be a special one.

When I look around at my life – at the things, people, accomplishments, and tiniest moments that surround me, my heart does this pitter-patter swell thing that makes it feel too big for my chest. I feel like I’ve finally laid down some roots. Like despite so much that feels transitory about my life, I have these people who have shown up time and time again, have picked up phone call after phone call. I have this clearing vision of who I am both on my best days and on my worst.
I’m no longer gathering – I’m deepening. I’m leaning in.

It’s a good feeling. Not to become but to daily pursue the act of becoming. To be curious. To hold things lightly. To look back on a year and not ascribe its value based on the things that happened to you in it but on the ways that you showed up in each moment, the big laughs and trips to the lake and cups of really good coffee. The hard work and naps and walks around the neighborhood. It feels good to live. Like, actually live. I think you know what I mean.

So here’s to 25.

Lightly, 
Leah