4/25/21
I knew it would happen eventually. That I would miss a week, that I would forget or feel overwhelmed and pretend like this space didn’t exist, that I would fail to live up to some random standard I had set up for myself. I won’t lie, I’ve been thinking about it all week.
Isn’t that funny? I built this space as a purely creative one, intentionally established myself as my only source of obligation – yet here I am, feeling more than vulnerable in my imperfection.
To be quite honest, it has been a wild two weeks. I dropped the ball on a number of my final assignments, I terminated with all of my clients and had my final day at my internship, I’ve got a lot going on with my family, and I’m taking Theo to the vet tomorrow because I’m worried about some swelling around her abdomen.
The thing that I know to be true is that all of this stuff will work out one way or another. I’m not worried about that.
But the most sincere promise that I made to myself when I created this newsletter is that I would be authentic and candid. I’m here imperfectly, and I’m carrying bags filled with worries and smiles and tiny moments that make me pause in order to figure out what I’m feeling, what I’m feeling, and why.
On the other end of the spectrum, I had one of the sweetest endings of my life this week. I had to part ways with a client who I had been working with all semester, whose pursuit of growth had truly touched my heart for months and months, and the moment was hard but so beautiful.
I’m still sorting through a lot of it. Maybe that’s why I’m stuck in worry. But God, I am so thankful for the moments that make the worries feel way more manageable.
I hope that you’re well. I hope that you’re here with me, living and sorting and feeling and ending.
Lightly,
Leah
Leah Kepley, M.Ed. 